On Wednesday, Todd G. went to the library to research Attention Deficit Disorder (A.D.D.) and spent the whole hour looking at car magazines.

Todd M. is so stoked about the Olympics that he wishes they could be held every year.

Are you tired of not having any spare cash? Do you want to know how you can take three empty soda cans, collect the deposit and then turn that into a real estate fortune?

Two years ago the closest Ted B. ever got to a boat was those toy ones in the bathtub. Now he owns a fleet of leisure craft larger than some smaller island nations' navies. And he did it all without investing a single penny of his own money.

And so can you.

Honest.

Mike L. thinks that the Vice President is just the kind of person that gives hunting a bad name. And that, friends, is a real crime. [shaking head] A real crime.

They gave a personality test at work and Todd S. swears on his momma's grave that he got every single question right.

"Dude, I'm not going to tell you that it's not boring sitting up there on that chair all day. But you get to look at girls a lot and saving lives every once in a while doesn't suck either." --Todd H.

Look out Tampa Bay, Todd comes from the Sun Tzu meets General Westmoreland school of paintball.

Mike's Answer: You don't get to be the number one flag football player in the country by listening to classical music, that's for damn sure.

Mike F.'s friends used to kid him about being careful not to explode.
Boy do they feel like assholes now.

Back at the motel later that night, Mike and Debbie pretty much agreed that the family uniform and grape jelly were on a collision course and that no good would come of it.